February 28, 2011

The Key to Self-Actualization


According to Maslow, self-actualization is “the desire for self-fulfillment, namely the tendency for [the individual] to become actualized in what he is potentially, the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming.” The motivation is growth, not filling a deficiency. The goal is fulfilling one’s existing potential, not creating a new need.


The need for self-actualization springs from our identity, how we perceive and understand our individual self, who we are. Who we can and aspire to be is central to our identity. It’s more emotional than rational.


So remember these….


* RECOGNIZE true happiness and not settle for less

* FIND true self-esteem, which doesn't depend on anything outside you

* RETURN to the state of joy, peace, and spontaneous fulfillment that is your natural

birthright

* FOCUS on the present and learn to live it fully

* EXPERIENCE enlightenment: even the briefest glimpses of unity consciousness have a

transformative effect, and these are available to you now

February 27, 2011

Simply the Best




'Finally got Diamond's name tag. Yeah, I know, she is too spoiled. Oh well, she's my baby and she deserves the best just like her Mommy **LOL**


Check out my baby ~ so pretty

I don't have to be perfect!


I don't have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect, and beautiful journey of my life. It's a trip more wonderful than I could have imagined!

Whole Wheat Oatmeal Bread

Okay, I finally got my automatic bread machine maker out of the box this weekend (after moving 3 months ago). ** LOL** So I decided to start making homemade breads again instead of buying them. Think you don’t have time to bake homemade bread? Think again! With an automatic bread machine to make the dough unattended, all the hands-on time needed is 5-10 minutes to dump a few ingredients into the machine, and 5-10 minutes to shape the dough into traditional loaves. The smell of homemade bread is amazing while baking, and the taste of the finished product is even better.

This is my own classic recipe of Whole Wheat Oatmeal Bread. I have been making this bread for over 10 years now. It is nutritious and supplies much needed fiber, along with some vitamins and minerals. It is also low in fat and calories until, of course, it’s slathered with lots of real butter. For those who are trying to get family members to switch to whole wheat bread over white, this is definitely the recipe that will win them over. Many recipes for whole wheat bread produce heavy compact loaves. This recipe, however, produces light airy loaves with a crisp crust. In the event there are leftovers, the bread keeps well in an airtight bag for several days; it makes incredible toast and sandwiches.

I hope you enjoy as much as I have over the years!




Dough1 2/3 cups water
1/2 cup dry milk
2/3 cup rolled oats
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/3 cups white flour
1/3 cup honey
3 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons salt
1 tablespoon yeast

Topping1 egg
Oatmeal, for sprinkling

1. Place the dough ingredients in the order given in the pan of the automatic bread machine.
2. Turn the machine to the dough cycle.
3. After 10 minutes, check the dough to make sure it is forming a soft ball.
4. If it is too soft, add a little more whole wheat flour; if it is too stiff, add a little more water and start the cycle over.
5. When the cycle is finished, transfer the dough to a lightly floured pastry cloth.
6. Divide dough in half.
7. Roll each half into a square about 9 x 9".
8. Roll up tightly and pinch the seam together.
9. Pinch the seam on both sides and place in two standard bread pans that have been sprayed with non-stick spray.
10. Let rise in a warm place until almost doubled in bulk.
11. When the loaves are almost risen, preheat the oven to 375°.
12. Beat the egg until frothy; brush the tops of the loaves with the egg.
13. Sprinkle with a little oatmeal.
14. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until hollow sounding when tapped.
15. Remove from the oven to cooling racks.
Makes 2 regular size loaves

February 26, 2011

Perfect Balance


As a Professional Counselor/Marriage and Family Therapist, I believe that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time. Therefore, we must look deeply within, we need to understand our perfect balance. None of us is built to run nonstop. That's why, when you don't give yourself the time and care you need, you will lose your equilibrium and break down. I know that we can't take a recess from life ~ it keeps going. But we can definitely take recesses from feeling trapped anytime. If you take a moment, breathe, and look around and say, "Look what's happening to me!" The incredible drama of life is happening and you are in it! The key to balance is using all of the factors listed above in the picture to connect yourself to the present moment. I always believe that moments of connections are free moments!

February 25, 2011

Diamond

Me and Diamond (3 mos old)
(February 2011)

She is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.

You are her life, her love, her leader.

She will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of her heart.

You owe it to her to be worthy of such devotion.

February 24, 2011

My Addictions


There are a number of substances and activities that a person can become addicted to, but are you familiar with the 10 most common addictions? At least my addictions are not some of these...I marked YES or NO...what about you?


1. Alcohol Addiction - NO

Alcohol is readily available, and a legal substance for adults to use. Prolonged or excessive use can lead to a problem with addiction. Use of alcohol in relatively small amounts can impair an individual's ability to drive a motor vehicle safely, and is a factor in crimes involving violence, including spousal and child abuse.

2. Smoking - NO

Technically, a smoker is not addicted to cigarettes, but rather the nicotine they contain. This highly-addictive substance is the reason why smoking is such a difficult habit to give up.

3. Drug Addiction - NO

Drug addiction includes both illegal substances and legal drugs. The problem is the same, whether your drug of choice is readily available by prescription or not.

4. Gambling - NO

Many people enjoy participating in a game of chance in hope of winning some money or another prize. When it becomes a compulsive activity that the individual is unable to stop, despite the fact that continuing to gamble is creating problems, that is a sign that the person has become addicted to gambling.

5. Food Addiction - HMMMM...YES (HAHAHA)

Food is something that we all need to survive, and eating should be an enjoyable experience. A food addict is unable to control his or her eating during certain times and uses food as a way to deal with feelings of sadness, depression, or anxiety.

LOVE LOVE LOVE MY CHOCOLATES! HAHAHAHAHA

6. Video Games - NO - well a LITTLE..i have my own DS and it is PINK too... LOL

A video game addict plays video games to the extent that this activity intrudes on his or her life. The most addictive video games are the ones where players assume the identity of a character in the game and are able to interact with other players.

7. Internet Addiction - HMMMM...maybe 70% LOL

The Internet can be a wonderful resource. We can look for information, read news and blogs, and interact virtually with people from all over the world. We can do our banking and shop online as well. Internet use turns into Internet addiction when an individual wants to be online all the time. If you feel anxious or upset when you are not able to be online, it may be a sign that you have developed an Internet addiction.

8. Sex Addiction - SHHHHHHHHH...YUM YUM ~ TOO PERSONAL...HAHAHAHAHA

Having an addiction to sex has nothing to do with your sex drive (or lack thereof). While it's normal to have a healthy interest in sexual activity, a person with an addiction to sex is likely engaging in risky sexual behavior to feel their compulsion. They may be visiting prostitutes, having affairs, picking up strangers to have sex with, exposing themselves or looking in windows to satisfy their urges.

YIKES! HAHAHAHAHA

9. Shopping - OMG!!!! YES YES YES!!!! BAD BAD BAD GIRL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

For some people, compulsive shopping is an all-too-real problem. They use this activity as a way to deal with emotional and other problems in their lives. This excessive shopping may lead to financial problems, as well as relationship issues with the compulsive shopper's spouse or partner.

I'M NOT LIKE THIS THOUGH..I ENJOY SHOPPING AND I AM NOT AND DEFINITELY DON"T HAVE ANY FINANCIAL PROBLEMS...PLUS...I NORMALLY SHOP FOR MY FAMILIES, FRIENDS, AND RELATIVES. BALIKBAYAN BOX HERE YOU GO...LOL

10. Work Addiction - YES...SOMETIMES..HMMMM..

The last entry on this list of the 10 most common addictions is one that may be considered a good thing: work. Hard work is generally something that people admire and many parents teach their children that it is the key to getting what they want out of life. When work becomes an obsession, it is a problem. If you get to the point where you can't stop working and thinking about work when you are supposed to be off the job, it may be a sign that your dedication has turned into an addiction.

HIT ME PLEASE!!! SOMETIMES I TAKE WORK HOME...SPANK ME!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

I hope you enjoy this post!

BFF



I wouldn't be who I am without my friends and BFFs.

I rely on them to tell me the truth, to keep me grounded,

and to help me keep this big life I live in perspective.

They are my therapists, my release, my sounding boards, and my safe harbors!

Chocolates


I'll Take Off My Mask


I'll Take Off My Mask

by Ella M.


Will you still love me even if I’m not perfect?

Will you still love me even if I’m not the kind of person you wished I were?

Will you still look into my eyes with warmth even if you saw my mask and my shadows?

Will you still hold my hand even if you knew there would be times I’d let you down?

For though I yearn to take care of you as I should,

though I desire to love you with a love that never falters and fades,

my knees tremble this very moment thinking the day we would meet again

and that you will hold me in your arms.

Shall I kiss you?

Shall I hold your hand and bask in the light of your spirit

knowing that you know my past and my darkness,

knowing there will be times that the light of my love will sometimes be overshadowed

by the mask and darkness that is in me?

Sometimes I’d be silent and I might bore you.

I may not laugh at your jokes, and you may not understand the spell that’s enshrouding me.
Sometimes I’d get troubled and I’d fail to put into words
what the hell it is that troubles me.

I wouldn’t be good company then, and I couldn’t make you smile.

Sometimes I’d get moody and I might not enjoy the things you’d like us to do together.
Sometimes I’d lose my temper

and I’d no longer act like the fine person who can stand next to you.

Sometimes I’d get jealous and I might say things I don’t really mean.

Sometimes I’d talk too much that I might drive you away.

Sometimes I’d get touchy and I’d get easily hurt.

And no matter how mature I try to be, at times I’d act in childish ways.

Instead of pouring my heart to you, I’d get back to being SILENT

and don’t say things to help you understand.

Sometimes I’d say things I shouldn’t say.

And no matter how much I desire to protect you and make you happy,

sometimes I’d be the one who’d cause you the most pain.

But if you will love me, I will take off my mask.

I will bare my whole self-naked before you,

and I will reveal to you my soul.

If you will love me, you can be certain that it is I that you will love,

not a mask that fools you and gives you only what your eyes desire to see.

If you will love me,
you can be certain that you will see beyond my eyes the love you deserve.

If you will love me,
you can be sure that you will love the depths of me, all of me that is in me,
and I in turn will love you with all of me,

with all my soul, with all my mind,

with all my spirit,

with all my flaws and beauty,

and with all my very heart.

all i know is that…i found you, you found me, and i love you for everything that you are.

Life Begins at 40


I would like to share some of the poems I received on my 40th Bday Party...

********************
Fine Chardonnay!

It's hard to believe I'm 39.
But am I aging like fine wine?

They say 39 is the new 25
Could someone please tell my thighs.

My make-up free days are a thing of the past.
I just hope my concealer lasts.

What are these grey hairs atop my head.
Tell me Miss Clairol, should I go red?

These lines on my face are beginning to furrow
Soon they'll be deep enough for a rabbit's burrow

But joking and silliness aside
This has been a wonderful ride

So 40 I'm ready, bring what you may
I've decided, I'm a fine Chardonnay!

********************
Life begins at 40

As you grow each year,
To the sky without fear.
Sound judgment and roots,
Sweeter than fruits.

With seasons you change,
Isn’t that strange?
Standing tall and strong,
You know you belong.

Many climb for support,
You’re a great sport.
At forty, a young tree,
We must all agree.

********************
Primetime at 40

A mid-life crisis to forget,
Only temporary don’t you sweat.
Life insurance they try to sell,
“I’m not old,” you begin to yell.

You need glasses in the dark,
Where you used to make your mark.
A cold beer is your best friend,
Hangovers he will always lend.

Hair continues to fall out,
Sitting and waiting for your trout.
The first forty is to learn.
The next forty, you must return.

********************
Life to Enroll

I realized, I was forty years old,
All this drama began to unfold.
Woke up, one morning; a pretty bad cold,
Rest in bed, repeatedly told.

I lay there in thought, uncontrolled
Upon defeat and surrender, I was not sold.
With a sudden spark, I became truly bold,
Jumped out of bed and youth filled with gold.

With peace and confidence, downstairs I strolled,
Opened the door, and life, I enrolled.
A few hurdles here, my way they were bowled,
Forty years of experience, success was foretold.

Kiss The Rain


Kiss The Rain

By Yiruma



Whenever you need me

Kiss the rain

Whenever I’m gone too long

Kiss the rain


If your lips

feel lonely and thirsty

Kiss the rain

And wait for the dawn


Keep in mind

We’re under the same sky

And the nights

As empty for me as for you

If you feel

you can’t wait till morning

Kiss the rain

Kiss the rain

Kiss the rain

Carry Your Own Cross, I Am Carrying Mine

by Ella M.



Have you ever felt those times when the cross you’re carrying seems heavier than it should be or much heavier than you can bear? Much heavier than the crosses other people are carrying? In fact, why carry your heavier cross? Our crosses it seems vary greatly in the burden and the difficulties they inflict upon us. Why do some crosses appear to be far easier? And why do some appear to be so huge and heavy, our trust upon God’s wisdom and justice is already shaken to its very core?

We see rich, beautiful people whose only problem it seems, are the next orders they’re going to pick from the menu. And then we see beggars who don’t even have a place to sleep at when night falls. We see celebrities gambling loads of money in a casino. And then we see parents doing backbreaking work day after day, just so they could send their children to school. We see politicians squandering the wealth of the nation, and getting credit for the small portion of funds spent in useless undertakings. And then we see cancer victims, fighting for their next breath, not knowing where in God’s hands they’re going to get the amount needed to provide for the family they’re going to leave behind.

Where indeed is fairness in this life? Where is the easy yoke we have been promised to bear? Is God already playing favorites here? Why a heavier cross to bear?
Oftentimes, when people start asking these questions, the only response they get is something like one of these:

“God works in mysterious ways.”
“Stop that! You’re doubting God’s wisdom.”
“See? There is really no God who guides His people. Either He isn’t real, or He isn’t really good.”
I would not be content with those answers though. There must be some answers more satisfying than those. Following are some of the answers I believe in:

1. We don’t really know the burden people are carrying within

People may appear happy on the outside, but they may actually be crying terribly within. However well off they appear to be, secret hurts may just be tearing them apart.
Never ever believe instantly the external strengths you see, the smiles that greet your eyes. For sometimes beneath those smiles are tears, and beneath that strength is a yearning to break out and to be understood.

Do we see people who earn more in a day what we could possibly earn in a year? Do we see people who look so happily established in their married lives? Do we see healthy people who can do whatever they want to do be it mountain climbing or spelunking or skydiving? Do we see them and envy them and wish so hard we were the ones in their shoes?

The fact is, there are some things we don’t really see. We don’t see the sad children whose parents are so busy working their way up the corporate ladder. We don’t see lonely wives who have lost their self worth and sunk unto the everyday routine they needed to keep. We don’t see consciences being seared just so money can be earned and ambitions can be reached. We don’t see hearts crying out in loneliness amidst all the external blessings the world believes them to possess.

We don’t see many things. Surely not the things people wanted to hide. They are the only ones who know the true weight of their crosses, and there is no way we could possibly get in their shoes in order to make a fair comparison with the burdens we carry upon our shoulders.

2. We sometimes carry crosses that are not really ours

If you feel you’re carrying so much more burden than you could possibly bear, pause for a while and ponder whether the cross you’re carrying is your own cross and not another one’s burden.
Ask yourself, “Is this cross the one God really wants me to bear? Or is this suffering something I have only insisted on inflicting upon myself?”

There are many crosses we insist on carrying, loads we are not suppose to carry in the first place. Due to our stubbornness however, we refuse to let it go. We refuse to forgive the people who have hurt us, because we do not believe they deserve to be forgiven. We refuse to forget our past wounds because we want to get even with those who have caused us pain. We refuse to lay our burdens to God because we don’t trust Him enough to believe everything will be taken care of. Sometimes we even refuse to let other people carry their own crosses because we believe we are the only ones capable of doing the right thing. Carry only your own cross, my friend. That is all that is asked of you.

3. We do not see that our crosses are in proportion to the strength given to us

We may be carrying a far bigger cross upon our shoulders, but have we ever cared to know the resources given us to be able to carry that cross? We were so busy comparing the size of our crosses with our neighbors, but have we ever cared to compare the strength we have with the strength that they possess?

My friend, the cross given to you is in direct proportion to your strength. The pain you bear is in direct proportion to the tolerance that you possess. We may be carrying different kinds of burdens, but we cannot really say that the difficulties we encounter are far different from the troubles others are going through.

Are you in pain? So am I. Were you hurt? So have I. But you can never say you were more hurt than I have been because you have never ever been me, not even for a single moment. You do not have my weaknesses. You do not have my strengths. I do not have the wealth of your previous experiences. And I do not have the people who support you in your hour of need.
Stop comparing one another’s crosses, because in truth, there is no way that we can really be able to compare them.

4. We do not avail of the unlimited strength being offered by God to help us carry our cross

There are many times when all that we can see are the huge crosses we carry upon our shoulders. We see how weak we are. We see how tired and exhausted we have been. But we do not see God’s hand reaching out to help us. We do not see the strength being offered us when our own powers are no longer enough.

Maybe our financial condition is just enough to feed one child, but just when we’re least expecting it, another one comes along contrary to what we have planned. Maybe we feel so alone, and the only person who has ever been there to support us suddenly leaves, never ever to return. We feel helpless and broken. And we do not have the strength anymore to face the challenges that come our way.

It is during these times that we should keep our hopes up and believe that a Higher Power will see us through. Help will come just in time, just when we needed it, just when we have given our last ounce of strength.

You may think of how limited your resources are at the moment, but a better opportunity may already be on its way. You may think you’ve lost everyone who has ever cared for you, and yet the one who will love you like you’ve never been loved before may just be standing outside the door, knocking, hoping you would just open the door and let him in.

There is a God who watches over us, and who sends His angels before us to guard us and to guide us along the path He has prepared for us. He will never let us down. He will not give us crosses too heavy for us to bear. And just when we think our crosses are getting bigger, He will give us more strength, more power than we believed we could ever possess. So just hang in there a minute more. Hope. Believe in miracles. They still come true, you know.

5. We see no purpose in carrying our crosses

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you want to come with me, you must forget yourself, carry your cross, and follow me. (Matthew 16:24) “Follow me.” That’s what Jesus said. And in following Him, we are to forget ourselves and carry our crosses. Our goal would be to follow Jesus, not to be able to carry our crosses.

Have you ever had such a great drive to achieve a dream? A drive so great you are tremendously inspired to reach for your dream whatever sacrifices you may have to make along the way? Have you ever had such a loved one, someone so special you were willing to undergo hell just so you can always be with the person?

It’s the same with carrying our crosses. Carrying our burden is merely incidental to our true goal. We must be passionate enough, enamored enough, enthralled, ruptured, captivated, powerfully moved in following our life mission, it doesn’t matter whatever difficulties may come along. We know we could overcome anything, for the prize ahead is worth far more than the sacrifices we are to make along the way.

We have to know our purpose and our destiny. Otherwise, we would just be focusing on our crosses, complaining how heavy and difficult they are. It is only in being driven towards our greatest and utmost passions and desires that we are able to forget ourselves and bear the burdens we never knew we’d be capable of.

The crosses that come our way were never meant to hinder us from reaching our God-given destiny. They were meant to help us and strengthen us so we can be the kind of persons we are supposed to be. The greater one’s cross is, the greater is the opportunity and the gift attached to it, if only we could take our eyes off our suffering for a moment, and see the blessings being poured upon us in the process.

Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps his promise, and HE will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, HE will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out. (1 Cor 10:13) “Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest. For the yoke I will give you is easy, and the load I will put on you is light.” (Matthew 11:28)

Related Books:
In Your Hour of Grief
Beloved
A Different Prayer

Let it Go


There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. “For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us.” [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. LET THEM GO!!! And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. LET THEM GO!!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .....LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you .......LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents....LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed ......
LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for you!!! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left. think about it, and then ....LET IT GO!!!

It Doesn't Interest Me


It Doesn't Interest Me
Author Unknown

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Simple Fashion Tips


Fashion is one of the most practiced norms for the present generation. The Gen X is always looking for the best in fashion tips so that they can become cynosures of attraction. Fashion and Style happens to be the most referred codes for Gen X. They are just crazy about the various forms of it and try to attribute themselves with the latest fashion tips and become a style icon.
But there are very few people who actually understand what 'fashion' is actually. Flaunting the best brands is not about being fashionable and stylish. You have to know how to dress and team up clothes with the right kind of fashion accessories. You should be comfortable whatever you wear and that should be prominent from the way you carry off your attire. But even if you do not possess the perfect fashion sense you can always get some help from your friends and family. But when it comes to fashion it is best that if one trusts one's own instincts.

Help is always welcome if you want to give a whole new look to your wardrobe and become all hip and chic. Here are some of the chosen tips for fashion which are very simple but are often forgotten. By incorporating these tips you can give a whole new look to yourself by turning into a new leaf with the help of the fashion tips. If you care to include these style tips in your itinerary then you can create your own style statement then it will really be worthwhile. Have a look at the tips and be an ideal individual belonging to the emerging era.

There are several tips for fashion but the basic ones only cover a great range altogether:

Right Set of Attire

The first essential to be fashionable is to find out the right set of attire. If you are wearing something, make it sure that it should fit you well. An ill fitting cloth can make or mar your entire appearance and personality. Choose clothes which are comfortable and looks good on you. Do not wear anything just because it is doing the rounds in the fashion circuit.
Try different kinds of apparels and then decide upon which trends and styles suit you the best. It often happens that you have to give up on a very favorite dress you like since it is not suiting you. At times like this you might get tempted to make an impulsive purchase but do not do so as you are so going to regret it later.

Accessories

Choose the correct accessories to pair up with your clothes and apparels. Getting your accessories wrong can be a huge fashion faux-pas, so to avoid that seek some fashion tips on teaming up the best accessories with your clothes. The accessories you wear are going to accentuate your dress, and will help to complete the entire look of your attire. If you are wearing something very gorgeous then opt for minimal jewelry. But if your clothes are simple then you can highlight your look by pushing the focus on your accessories.

Lowers

The pants can be both straight legged or boot cut and in case of boot cut the hem line should be long. If you are on the plump side opt for black or brown pants to get a slimmer look. The pants should not be worn loose; it should be well fitting but definitely not tight. This style tip should not be forgotten as this can create or ruin your look absolutely.
Body Proportion

Know your body proportion first and then choose the clothes. There are certain tactics in wearing the different selection of pants and tops. If one can really wear them effectively then they might cover up several flaws of your body. If the lower half of the body is thin then wear a full top on a skinny pant. A long top with short skirt gives a great look if your waist is short. If you are a possessor of a petit torso then wear full length pants with fitted tops. If the waist is long then the bottom wear should be long and the top should be short.

Style & Comfort

Wearing a color from head to toe without the line broken in between provides slim look. Tops of fine knitted and jersey variety and pants with pockets without flap and flat fronts offers both stylish look and comfort.

Taller Torso


A shirt with collar offers the torso a taller look and act as a nice frame to the face. Among all the fashion tips this can be the most significant for the people with tall torso.

Neckline


Tops with V neck make the neck look longer. Boat necks add up a special charm to the attractive shoulders and enhance your beauty if you have nice beauty bones. You can also opt for square necks which looks good on everyone. If you have a short neckline it will be good if you do not wear round necks because that will make you look unappealing.

Legs

If your legs are fuller inside, try a side slit. If your legs are fuller outside, a mid-front or back slit is a better choice when you are opting for skirts. If you have full legs then try to avoid very short or long skirts. Being blessed with slim and shapely legs can be a big boon as you can go for any type of skirts. Women's fashion can be tricky hence choose wisely when you go for your apparels.
Bags

Bags make a style statement of their own. When you are teaming up a bag with your outfit you have to keep in mind a lot of things. You need to think about the shape as well as the size of the bag. The bag should match with your outfit as well as your body structure. If you have a small frame and you are carrying a large bag then that might look awkward. But you can always stick to the conventional black bag which is not too big or small.

Shoes


Stilettos though are not very preferable on the line of comfort but are very much in fashion as they make the leg look really special. Flats are very comfortable, but it should be avoided if you are attending any formal occasion. It should also be avoided if you are short.

Only Hope


ONLY HOPE
by Mandy Moore

There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.

So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

Sing to me the song of the stars.
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope.

I give you my destiny.
I'm giving you all of me.
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back.

So I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

On My Knees


On My Knees
by Jaci Velasquez

There are days,
When I feel
The best of me
Is ready to begin
Then they're days,
When I feel
I'm letting go,
And soaring on the wind
But I've learned in laughter or in pain,
How to survive

I get on my knees
I get on my knees
there I am before the Love that
Changes me
See, I don't know how,
But there's power
when I’m on my knees

I can be in a crowd,
or by myself.
or almost anywhere,
when I feel, there's a need
to talk with God, he is Emmanuel,
when I close my eyes,
no darkness there
there's only light

When I get on my knees
When I get on my knees
there I am before the Love that changes me
see I don't know how, but there's power
in the blue sky
I don't know how but there's power
and in the midnight
and I don't know how but there's power
when I’m on my knees
I get on my knees
I get on my knees
and there I am before the Love that changes me
I don't know how, but there's power
I don't know how but God gives me power
I don't know how but there's power
When I'm on my knees

Tomorrow


Tomorrow
by Tamia

Jesus said here I stand
Won't you please let me in
And you said I will
But tomorrow

Jesus said I am he
Who supplies all your needs
And you said I know
But tomorrow

Tomorrow,
I'll give my life
Tomorrow,
I thought about today
But, it's so much easier to say
Tomorrow,
Who promised you,
Tomorrow,
Better choose the lord today
For tomorrow very well might be today

Jesus said here I stand
Won't you please take my hand
And you said I will
But tomorrow

Jesus said I am he
Who supplies all your needs
And you said I know
But tomorrow

OOOOOOOOOOO
Tomorrow,
I'll give my life
Tomorrow,
I thought about today
OOOOOOOOOOO
But, it's so much easier to say
Tomorrow,
Who promised you,
Tomorrow,
Better choose the lord today
For tomorrow very well might be today

And you said, your tomorrow would ever come for you...
Still you laughed and played and continued on to say......

Tomorrow.... forget about....
Tomorrow
Won't you give your life today
OOOOOOOOOOOO
PLEASE
Don't just turn and walk away
Tomorrow, tomorrow is not promised
Don't let this moment slip away
WHOOOOOO
Your tomorrow could, could very well be here TODAY.......

Real Friend Test


Real Friend Test

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'Pepsi drawer' with her foot.

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend's shoulder is soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in her address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed. A real friend asks why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls after you had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.

Here I Am


HERE I AM
by Leona Lewis


This is a crazy world
These can be lonely times
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Some times you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, hmmm

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If you reach emptyness
You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, oooo

Everybody needs somebody who
They can pour their heart and soul into

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, Here I am

A Note To God


A NOTE TO GOD
by Charice

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak what's in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away
For love to overflow

If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
and for peace to mend this world

I'd say
I'd say
I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find a way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness
in our hearts

I'd say
I'd say
I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you

Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on

No
No
We can't do it on our own
So
So

(Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue)
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help

Grant us the faith to carry on
Hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on

No
No
(No)We can't do it on our own
(So)
So

If I wrote a note to God

21 Things to Remember About Life


21 Things to Remember About Life

by Ella M.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Why Do You Love Me?

I've sort of been thinking about the things I can put in my blog. I love to write and since I am a Psychologist/Professional Counselor, I thought this would be something I can do. And since it's so much on my mind, I figured I would write something about love and relationship ~ to offer my expertise and perspective in this very important part of our lives. My blogs doesn’t suggest that you should agree/disagree on it, but ponder if you may…. for this is a thought, a shared and FREE counseling if you call it that way. If the shoe fits, wear it! If not, go and try some more shoes out there (Ha Ha Ha). …reading is essential and fundamental, but understanding and applying the content of what you just learned and read is the best thing you can give to yourself in this so called LIFE’s JOURNEY!

How many times have you asked your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse or they have asked you, "Why do you love me?" Have you been able to reply from the heart about all of the little things, the hair, the eyes, and the way he/she laughs? While these characteristics can certainly be lovable, are they the true reason that love is there between you?

The best answer is one that on the surface seems pretty lame. "Because you are you and I am me." The relationship just works. That is not to say that relationship or marriage doesn't require effort now and then, but isn't it nice to know that you were chosen for no other reason than the fact that you are who you are? And the person that you love loves you back?

One of my favorite Shakespearean Sonnets is Sonnet 130. Unlike the flowery language that you might expect from earlier sonnets, this poem about a love is rather insulting. It goes on to say how his lover is not fair, how her hair resembles black wires and how her breath reeks. Just when you think any woman hearing or reading this would slap the author in the face at the very least, it turns around in the last couplet to basically say that since he is aware of all of her faults, his love is more true than any other. "You're not perfect baby, but I'm madly in love with you."
Love should be expanding. That’s kind of a key word, "expanding." It reminds me of the lessons I've learned last year from one of my classes in Marriage Therapy and Self Appraisal before graduating…. in a nutshell, what do you think love should do in any relationships? Is it supposed to stop? Is it supposed to grow? Or is it supposed to accept that the love you give and the love you receive is the best thing each of you can offer? Is there a scale from one to ten that gives you that credentials to see who loves whom more in any relationships? Can you truly measure the amount you give and the amount you receive? Who offers the greater love?

Maybe that's the key. If you think on it, those times when you find unhappy with your partner or spouse, they are the times when you focus on the negative. The more you stew about what he or she is not doing, the angrier you get. But if you focused on the heart that belongs to you ~ how much love you give each and everyday, does that count?

But when you take a moment to step back (read that as: when you blow up and he puts you in your place by pointing out the good he's done), and you wake up to the fact that you are being too critical, or expecting him to read your mind, or you are just having a bad day at work or just plain PMSing and looking for a fight, your heart opens up to receiving love again.
Ah, that's another critical concept, having a heart that's open to love. You have to let it in, in order to receive it. It might sound common but you'd be surprised how many people close them off. Measure your own love. The things you do each day for each other is the things that will give you that “validation” that you indeed gave it your best shot. Love endures all ~ but people weaken it. We tend to nourish the love that we have only when it is suitable, acceptable, and reciprocated. But Love is much more than that. See within your heart ~ it is a very small organ of the body, but it sure does make the best of our existence. Value your heart. Value the love that you give, not only the ones you receive. For the love of you is the most critical aspect of any relationships.

So I guess what all of us should realized today is that, like money, love doesn't grow on trees. But it does grow once planted, and, once rooted, continues producing as long as it's tended to.

But if love truly is not there anymore…. there are other things to consider….

Yours truly,
Your counselor for the moment…

Ella M.

Keep Your Smile

The smile you give is the smile you get back!

They say a baby smiles an average of seventy-two times a day, and a toddler laughs or smiles six hundred times a day. We learn to smile very early in life. It is one of the first things we do, after we learn to cry. And how do we learn to smile? By how much we are smiled at. Does our smile live somewhere in the double helix of our DNA, or is it nurtured?

Somewhere in there lies the truth, which is – it is nature, but it must be nurtured. TO understand our mother’s smile is to understand our own smile, to know what triggers that physiological response.

A smile is an indication of a happy heart, and when you smile it changes your perception. It can create a better day. As frivolous as it might sound, studies have proven that even if you don’t feel like smiling, if you force yourself to smile, you will change your state of mind. By doing so, you can actually raise the immune system boosters in your blood. The question is, where does that smile go? Why is it that as we grow older we smile less? Could it be that we are looking for happiness and fulfillment in all the wrong places? Is it fear that stops us from being happy? Have we forgotten how to seek those simple pleasures that brought us such joy as children? To find the spaces between our thoughts that allow these joyful memories to flood back?
I suppose the key to holding on to that smile is to try to remember how much you smiled when you were young. Never forget, because that smile still lives in you, no matter how old you are.

Faith or Fear

I don’t have the answers to the big questions in life. I’m still on my own road to discovery. Everything is relative. Everything has its story. Everyone has obstacles to overcome. For me they are our greatest teacher.

Each of us goes through transitions and transformations. The important thing is that we acknowledge them and learn from them. I am no pundit. I have only my own life experiences to go on. And the obstacles I have overcome in life have been, in my way, difficult. Every relationship is a gift. What great gifts I have been given by each of the people I have encountered on my journey through life. How they have helped shape me into the person I have become and still hope to be.

Humans are the most extraordinary creatures, and the big part of me still wants to reach an even greater understanding about who we are. Not because I need to know more, necessarily, but because I am drawn to the process of discovery. If someone asks what makes me happiest, it is never anything I can quantify…but it is the spirit of the human being, which can fill me with more joy than anything in the world. Throughout these years, I have learned on my journey, that my spirit is uplifted by these encounters with so many different people from so many different places. Their amazing and pure souls are amazing and their light fills me each day.

It is what we don’t know that frightens us, and nothing stifles joy like fear.

Without fear, we cannot evolve. It is a natural human emotion that protects us from harm or even death. It creates something called “fight-or-flight response”, where people either fight or run away. But fear is also one of the most destructive emotions we have. It can quickly manifest into anger. And, as we all know, anger can be poisonous. You must approach your fears with as much truth and courage as you can.

Fight-or-Flight Response is very clearly embedded in us for survival, in the amygdala, a small area in the limbic center of the brain that becomes active only when people are emotionally aroused. It stems from the fight for survival; it keeps us from being annihilated. Fear can also override some of our other capabilities as humans, to live fully in a state of joy. When you think of all the things you are afraid of in your life, and you suddenly realize that you spend so much time defending against them that you have no time to open up to fearlessness, to experience the greater potential of our gift – the wholeness of being human. When people are full of fear, they feel out of control. They are lost, they feel powerless and so they lash out. Paranoia and polarization set in. If we can eliminate the negative emotions attached to fear – not necessarily the fear itself – if we can cultivate compassion and understand the root of our fear, then the experience itself will not control us.

I believe that it is important to actively seek a spiritual life. For me, it is that helps me modulate to the next level of my being. It is one of my greatest teachers I have ever had. I developed an inner yearning and a deep need to be grounded in some sort of faith. That need has continued to shape my entire life…now and forever…

Looking for answers to my own fear, I turned to God to try to find a sense of place, peace of mind, and the nurturing of an inner life. I had such a sense of longing for a connection to the vastness. I used to look at the moon tangled in the trees outside my window and feel this incredible space and time in the universe. Each night before I go to sleep, I read aloud Psalm 23 from the Bible, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” These words have given me immense solace especially in my days of treatment and healing back in 2003….and now, my greatest fear is here once again – to test my faith and my courage. But these words that I continue to read as days go by while I go through these treatment and such; it gives me the weapon to fight. My faith might be shaken, but I am one of those people who will NEVER QUIT…one who knows that my FAITH and HOPE for a better result will come, and one who knows that at the end of the battle, win or lose, there is a continuation of life, that death is nothing to fear.

Every Woman Should


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD….
By Maya Angelou

HAVE
Enough money within her control to move out and get a place of her own even if she never wants or needs to
Something perfect to wear if her employer or the date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour
A youth she's content to leave behind
A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to re-telling it in her old age
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra
One friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry
A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family
Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored
A feeling of control over her destiny

KNOW
How to fall in love without losing herself
How to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining a friendship
When to try harder and when to walk away
That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips or the nature of her parents
That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over
What she would and wouldn't do for love or more
How to live alone, even if she doesn't like it
Whom she can trust, whom she can't and why she shouldn't take it personally
Where to go, be it to her best friends kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing
What she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month and a year....

Because I Can


BECAUSE I CAN

by Ella M.

You said that you want me to be strong
I am strong
I have been strong
If being strong would mean
That you will be alone climbing up
Let me be weak
For by being weak,
I can be humble
For by being weak,
I accept my limitations
For by being weak,
I open myself to others
The time of my weakness is the time of my surrender
It is the time that when i am weak that I am strong
For it is no longer myself but Himself that is at work
For me to survive the present moments
For me to survive everything that turn their back on me
Allow me to be weak
For I want to be strong
To be surrounded with genuine love, care and compassion
This would make me strong
For I am a FIGHTER and a SURVIVOR
I am strong
Because I can…and I will!

Listen For Love

LISTEN FOR LOVE

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments, which are expressed insincerely.

An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different. Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.

A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.

A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'

We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.

The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love, which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.

The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.

If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.

LOVE is a happy thing.
It makes us laugh.
It makes us sing.
It makes us sad.
It makes us cry.
It makes us seek the reason why.
It makes us take.
It makes us give.
Above all else it makes us LIVE.

It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone. Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present TO someone.

So remember...If you love someone, tell him or her. Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what he or she means to you. Seize the day and have no regrets.

Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.

I Am A Tree


I AM A TREE
By Ella M.

I am a tree
sprouting forth and reaching out
for the glorious sunny sky
strengthening my stance
drawing forth life
from the warm womb of the ground
bearing forth what fruit
I may offer to all
giving my shade
to those who may want to rest awhile
Not all people may notice me
when they pass by
not all may taste the fruit
that i have wholeheartedly offered
nor avail of the shade
of my embrace
and yet i stand
and yet i stand
for a tree remains to be a tree
though no one comes to rest in thee
its arms remain wide open
its fruit renewed always in their season
its gaze always before the sky
smiling
knowing
standing firm
where God has appointed thee

I Promise Myself


I PROMISE MYSELF
by Christian D. Larson

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is
something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and
make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the
best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success
of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to
the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and
give a smile to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that
I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong
for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world,
not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side,
so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

I Have to Let You Go

I Have To Let You Go
By Ella M.


I often close my eyes
And I can see you smile
You reach out for my hand
And I'm woken from my dream
Although your heart is mine
It's hollow inside
I never had your love
And I never will

And every night
I lie awake
Thinking maybe you love me
Like I've always loved you
But how can you love me
Like I loved you when
You can't even look me straight in my eyes

I've never felt this way
To be so in love
To have someone there
Yet feel so alone
Aren't you supposed to be
The one to wipe my tears
The one to say that you would never leave

The waters calm and still
My reflection is there
I see you holding me
But then you disappear
All that is left of you
Is a memory
On that only, exists in my dreams

I don't know what hurts you
But I can feel it too
And it just hurts so much
To know that I can't do a thing
And deep down in my heart
Somehow I just know
That no matter what
I have to let you go…

The Butterfly

Many, many years ago when the Earth was still quite new, there was a beautiful butterfly that was severely hurt. Her pain forced her to take off her beautiful wings and wrapped herself in a drab cocoon. In her sadness, she could not eat and she could not sleep and her friends and relatives kept coming to her lodge to see if she was okay. Of course she wasn't, but she didn't want to be a burden on anyone, so she packed up her wings and her medicine bundle and took off on a long journey. She wandered about for many days, months, and years - until finally she had gone all around the world. On her journey she kept her eyes downcast and stepped on each stone she came to as she crossed fields and creeks and streams. Under each stone, she felt trapped. Yet though trapped under there, she still tried – to sing of beauty and of the free air. Everyone can see her glide. Everyone can hear her sweet voice. She was able to fly her own way under the stone of life and tears. Finally, one day as she was looking down, she happened to notice the stone beneath her feet, and it was so beautiful. She no longer wanted to be forgotten. Slowly, with the love of self and life, she saw the beauty of herself. What a wonderful creation of life. This healed her sorrow. She then cast aside her cocoon, shook the dust from her wings, and donned them once more. She was so happy she began to dance to give thanks for another chance to begin her life anew. Then she went home and told everyone about her long journey and how it had healed her.

Now, the butterfly is ready….ready for the journey she must face once again - Love, pain, struggles…all in all…She is sweeter than ever. She is stronger. She is shimmering…her wings are brighter than ever. She is confident. She is no longer bitter. She is not afraid anymore. Everyone can see her now….so whom shall be the lucky one to see….This once trapped and fearful butterfly, once again is free to sing. To sing her wonderful songs of life…can u hear it? Remember, the butterflies can’t make no sound…how are you going to catch her? If anyone desires a wish to come true they must first capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it. Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly cannot reveal the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all. In gratitude for appreciating and softly handling the beauty of the butterfly, the Great Spirit always grants the wish ~ the wish, which will be taken to the heavens and be granted – ETERNAL LOVE and HAPPINESS….

Why Not?

WHY NOT?
by Ella M.

I will go through this life only once,
and I shall have but one chance to live;
Not all people will like me,
others may even despise me,
as I may not be easily understood;
Yet I will take this chance to live,
and I will reach out in ways I know;
I will love those, whom I can,
and I will strive to understand them more;
Not all days will bring me sunshine,
so I will rejoice also for the rain;
Not every endeavor will be a success,
but I will savor the victories I achieve;
Not all dreams I dream will be mine,
but in time new dreams will fill my heart,
and as from a star those hopes will propel me forward
doing everything the best way I know I can;
No fear shall trample me whatsoever,
for my life was meant to be rambled
Though some battles seem to outweigh my strength;
my spirit shall reign in my trembles
I know my soul will try to lift the burden
for I will only do what I can,
I know how much I can bear.
and I believe and trust my ultimate Savior
So I asked my GOD, my refuge,
“Can you take care of the rests?”
He solemnly answered,

“Why not?”

A "BEAUTIFUL REFLECTION"


I was sitting in a crowded restaurant when she walked by in her full-length white satin dress delicately trimmed in lace and studded with tiny "jewels," crinoline that swished as she moved across the room, a rhinestone tiara upon her head, and pearl studded slippers on her feet. Golden ringlets framed her rosy cheeks and puckered lips glistened with a hint of gloss. She knew she was beautiful and glanced around at the admiring smiles of onlookers as she walked through the crowd. She was three-years-old.

I'm not sure when the dream of being beautiful enters a little girl's mind, but I do know when the dream ends -- when the preacher says, "may she rest in peace."

I remember as a little girl sneaking into my mother's closet and slipping my child-size feet into her size 6 1/2 high heels. I'd also stand on my tiptoes on a chair, pull a hat off the top shelf, and plop it on my head like an oversized lampshade. Her satin evening jacket with sleeves that hug eight inches below my fingertips gave a nice elegant touch to my outfit. A lady going to a party would never be caught without "putting on her face," so I crept into the bathroom, opened the forbidden drawer, and created a clownish work of art on the palette of my face. Red rouge circles on my cheeks, heaps of blue eye shadow on my munchkin lids, and smeared orange lipstick far exceeding the proper border were finished off with a dusting of facial powder with an oversized brush.

From the time a little girl stretches on her tiptoes to get a peek in the mirror, she desires to be beautiful -- perhaps like her mommy. As the girl moves into the teen years, she experiments with makeup, delves into fashion, and attempts various hairstyles. Then it's on to makeover ideas in magazines and on talk shows. If one idea doesn't work -- well, there's always next month.

I believe the dream to be beautiful is not cultural, but at the very core of womanhood. John Eldredge, in his book Wild at Heart, describes three longings that lie at the heart of every man: a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, an adventure to live. He also ventures to say that women have three longings of the heart as well: to be fought for, to share in an adventure, and to have her beauty unveiled. "Not to conjure," Eldredge explains, "but to unveil. Most women feel the pressure to be beautiful from very young, but that is not what I speak of. There is also a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty and be delighted in. Most little girls will remember playing dress up, or wedding day, or 'twirling skirts,' those flowing dresses that were perfect for spinning around in. She'll put her pretty dress on, come into the living room and twirl. What she longs for is to capture her daddy's delight." (John Eldredge, Wild at Heart (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2001) p16-17)

We should never be ashamed of our dream to be beautiful. A woman was and is one of God's most magnificent creations. As a matter of fact, she was His grand finale. After He fashioned Eve, creation was complete and He took a rest! God has placed in our hearts a love for beauty and a desire to be beautiful -- as He defines it.
In the New Testament, Paul writes, "For we are God's workmanship" (Ephesians 2:10). The Greek word for workmanship means a work of art. Listen to these words as David describes the Creator at work.
For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
When I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body. (Psalm 139:13-16)

Like an artist who sees the finished work in his mind's eye, God saw your unformed substance and then began to fashion you from head to toe. He made no mistakes but planned each detail of your being. You do not need to compare yourself to other works of art, but thank the Artist for how He chose to create the masterpiece called ... YOU